i am not belle

Thanks y’all for coming last Sunday! I had a blast! A big fat thank you to Ulrika who organised everything and made it so pleasant! Thanks for Ash and Jake’s speeches, and yep, just thanks to EVERYBODY! I LOVE YOUSE ALL! There are more photos. I shall possibly upload them all one day here, or at least, most of them, but just not today. I still need to get some off Deepak, who has just not been uploading them. Grr.

I have done absolutely NOTHING this past week. I am only starting to do some readings now for the following week of hell. I have a maths assignment due on Thursday, to which I am considering not even doing. I will sacrifice that one lousy course and focus on the rest. I hate it so much. I have been finishing rather early last week due to not turning up to lectures and having a few of my labs canceled. It almost felt like another stuvac for me. I need to get back into it.

Tomorrow will be highly bludgey indeed. There is an assessment lecture followed by staying back in biotech for a good 2-3 hours while watching other people do their presentations. I’ll be bringing my laptop and possibly watching episodes of Seinfeld. No, no, must do work. My library book has been overdued for a week now. Argh, haven’t finished it. And my throat is starting to hurt from the banana and tapioca sweet. Bah!

My stomach hurts now. Argh, that damn sweet. I really haven’t been eating well since Friday. I had my first burger (a Whopper from HJ) in about a month and I nearly spewed. My throat is really not handling things well these days. Time for another detox.

It’s also been raining on and off for the past week. It’s been incredibly windy, also. Spring is really shaky. It’s been a week since I turned 21, I realised. Nothing has really changed. I could go for some Tom Yum soup right now. I feel like something soury-chilli. My dad is stirring up something. I wonder what he’s making. He’s a good cook. I wish I knew how to cook. I think the extent of my cooking skills end at making instant soup. So bad.

I am feeling good today. In a “holy fuck, I have so much shit to do in the next two weeks, but fuck it” kinda mode.

Man, what a long day. Started off with a chem lecture about phases and I was waaaay out of the loop. I hadn’t been to a chem lecture in about two weeks and all this new stuff was a complete bombardment. I didn’t even realise we had changed lecturers. This is becoming a (sort of) bad habit for me. When I say I’m going to be in uni for the rest of my life, I really meant it. I didn’t end up going to maths because I had forgotten my lecture notes, and frankly, I’d just be a waste of space in there. I’m trying to find a site that resizes and provides a URL link to a picture file- I usually have to go to shrinkpictures.com and then imageshack.us, and it would just be much easier to find a site that does both at the same time.

Met up with the guys and Carol after class and then left to meet up with Ulrika at Central where we were heading out for lunch. Much catching up and whinging (particularly on my part). Am insisting that I will get over whatever it is that’s bothering me. It just seems so hard to self-indulge in my problems without comparing it to the extent of other people’s, which could be much worse than my own. There’s a bad side of having a habit of being sympathetic, because it’s almost impossible to complain about yourself without feeling guilty. It’s terrible. I’ve been trying to do it all day (to nobody in particular, just some self reflection, I guess) and I’d never really finish what it was that I was thinking of. The thought would just kinda trail off to some inconclusive hole and never really come out again until somebody else brings it up. Not sure if it’s healthy to be too thoughtful, like all good things, it has its disadvantages in excessive amounts. We caught the same line on the way home and on the way, Ulrika drew some turban pictures, which I made into an album here.

I am, however, looking forward to the CSE Revue, which I’ll be going to this Thursday. I hope it’s going to be good, and I’m sure it will be. It’s not just because there are friends who are apart of the production, but out of all the revues at UNSW, it’s got to be the best one, from what I’ve heard anyway. I saw it last year, too. It was high-larious.

Don’t know why I’m online so late. I have uni tomorrow from 9, but have decided not to go in. It’s lectures day and I’d rather spend the day indoors working on this blasted psych report that’s due in about three days. Eek! Am so not good with time management.

Because my birthday is coming up soon, I’ve put together a comprehensive wishlist, which I hope can be met to people’s affordabilities and/ capabilities. I understand if not all can be attained, but we’ll try, yeah?

1. Trains to run on time- 5 minutes is enough to make me tardy, and so is the driver of the carriage having a heart attack. True story- don’t travel on the Bankstown line.
2. Julia Irwin to stop making fridge calendar magnets- Frankly, I’ve had enough of looking at her manliness everytime I reach for a Weiss mango bar. It makes me put it back. Actually, may be a good diet promoter. We’ll put that in the Maybe pile.
3. Chinese calendars to be translated into English- I have the pleasure of waking up very early just so I can rip off the previous date and fold it into a plane. I just don’t understand the symbols or the animals depicted in the pages.
4. A speed indicator on my exercise bike- My parents bought this vintage exercise bike from the markets several years ago. I accidentally wiped out the something-meter with my vigour. I need a new one- circa 1975 perhaps?
5. Titanium blinds- Just so I can point to them and say ‘TITANIUM’ in a German accent.
6. A red door- So when people ask me if I have ‘that’ perfume by Elizabeth Arden, I can say ‘sort of’.
7. New teabag- This one’s been used for three serves now. It’s kinda getting transparent.
8. A walk in wardrobe- Not so much for the storage of clothes, but it’ll act as a study area or better yet, a guest room. People really appreciate sleeping in storage spaces. Haven’t you seen that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer made the Japanese tourists sleep in drawers? It’s like a morgue for the living. I’ll call it the Forgue.
9. My mum to stop making dirty jokes- If you haven’t heard about the Zero-One-Zero story, seek me out in person. She’ll take on your bros.
10. Just so you didn’t get me the first time, for my mum to stop making dirty jokes- And to not laugh at them. There’s nothing worse than being amused by your own jokes.
11. For stupid things to stop happening to me- There’s nothing worse than accidentally slitting your wrist during a peak hour bus line and having to telepathically convince everyone you’re really a happy person.
12. Guts to transfer into a Design degree in fashion- I’m not usually inhibited by the variety of options, but the thought of obtaining a qualification in designing, cutting and sewing really gives me a fair share of doubt. There might as well be degrees for something like Creative Writing- oh wait, there is.
13. Garbage collecting trucks to be a little more discreet in the wee hours of the morn’- I hate being woken up to the roar and consistent pausing of these said automobiles. This wish is probably for the best for everyone, not just myself.. unless you’re into that kinda thing, ya know, like, I don’t judge.
14. A good reason for indoor pot plants- If there’s windows around, I don’t see the need for the plants. Like they’re not going to give us extra oxygen. Sometimes you wonder, if we get our oxygen (or most of it) from plants, if we eliminated one plant, why aren’t some of us feeling the effects of this one lesser plant? To make this particular bullet more philosophical, I would like y’all to incorporate Chaos Theory into your reasoning.
15. A harmonica- Please?

It was such a hot and sunny day yesterday- about 30 degrees celcius. While I slept from 7-10pm, it rained and I could hear lots of wind. It’s rained a bit throughout the night and I can hear the wind gustling. It’s probably going to be like this tomorrow. All the better for not going into uni.

It’s definitely that time of the year again: Spring. Actually, it started three weeks ago, but it’s only just becoming obvious to me now. The tree at the front of our house is leafless and brown, and when I’m at the train station, tiny leaves fly by. They look really nice. They could be large pieces of dust, though.

The 23 mosquito bites on my legs are not a lot better. They’ve become scars now, but hopefully they’ll fade soon. Where is my Bio Oil when I need it most. I find it weird how people actually put it on their face. It’s oil. Would you have been better off putting olive oil on your face?

Anyway, I finally went to my psych lecture after a few good weeks of not attending. I didn’t even realise we’ve changed lecturers since. I think I shall be attending these from now on. I do like the Assessment section quite a lot. The biotech lab was incredibly short today- 2 hours. It’s the standard lab time, but for this one, 2 hours is a blessing. Mui and I got coffee afterwards and at the station, she treated me to a Magnum (thanks, Lovely!)- I’m such a cheap date ;O)

I realised I hadn’t ate anything since breakfast this morning. There just isn’t any time to eat when my mind is going “Do this, do that”. I can’t wait to combine my degree with Arts and finally take it easier. Science is way too much for me, I can’t handle it. The hours are ridiculous (22/week) and I’m required to keep on top of my game and I’m falling way below it. Definitely for the ones who cannot rely on self-motivation. I really wish they had COFA subjects ON campus. I would go into design or something like that, but I can’t be stuffed traveling around in a shuttle bus. So time consuming.

So tired. I just want to sleep on things and not wake up til eons later.

Went out to Nails’ 21st birthday last night at Sushi-e. I am such an idiot for not taking photos. I have good reason- there were already so many cameras in effect, I figured they would up uploaded sooner or later and I can just take those. I would essentially be taking the same sort of photos anyway. Sushi-e was on level 4 of the Establishment Hotel. Really good food and a Justin Long look-a-like waiter guy made my night. Nails’ was already half drunk halfway through the 10 course dinner, which was paid for by the birthday girl. Thanks darlin’ for a great night! Argh, I will have to accompany pictures to this post, as soon as somebody uploads them! Amansbra and I went home after dinner because we were really beat. I woke up this afternoon at 1. I was so tired. I still haven’t done some decent study for stats. Am probably going to be screwed this coming Friday. Oh well. Hopefully, I’ll win them over with my sick probability skillz.

Am taking it easy today, like a lot of people, I assume. It’s a pretty warm day, my thermometer reads at 24 degrees celcius. It’s going to be around 30 tomorrow, I hear. It would be so nice I guess, to go to a beach or something, but I suppose most people would be cramming to finish off last minute uni assessments and such.

I went to the uni library the other day to borrow a biography on Edie Sedgwick, which I will need for a psychology personality assignment. Can’t wait to start and get this over with. I know nothing of Edie Sedgwick than from what’s on Wikipedia and Factory Girl. Even though the book was reserved, I couldn’t find it in the Reservations section and it was actually held in the reservations section behind the main desk, because it had nudie pictures (LAWL). Anyway, the librarian was gushing about how much he loved the book and how it was really good and told me about his Andy Warhol tour around Greenwich Village in New York and to the place where Edie caused a fire in an apartment building while sleeping with a lit cigarette. It was really interesting, he’s quite a character. I enjoyed listening to his stories. I would have stayed longer, had I not been in a rush to meet the Bourgeouis King for lunch. Maybe next time.

I wonder if I can do a post-grad in design after a science degree? I hate when my mind is all over the place about my own future. So much for stability. I want to be everything, it’s almost a little sick.

Ahh… such a nice day. Really don’t want to pull out the books and ruin it all now.